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What an odd way to live a life, Marcia thought. She wondered if otherpeople didn't also live at least some part of their lives in a similarfashion, with or without realizing it. Perhaps the difference was that, inretrospect, they took more credit (or blame)--rightly or wrongly--fortheir actions, reluctant to admit just how out-of-control they'd actuallybeen when making some of the most important decisions of their lives.If anything, Marcia was far more inclined to take responsibility for hermistakes than credit for her successes. Walt was always trying to convinceher of the courage it took to start her life over as she had. But Marciadisagreed. It hadn't taken courage, simply desperation. It didn't requirecourage to run from a burning building. What she'd done was purelyinstinctive. She blindly did what she had to do in order to survive. Maybewhat would have required real courage was to stay put and let the flamesconsume her. Be a parent to Phoebe in whatever form that took. Even. On each as cheek he has a tattoo. On the left cheek it says "FUCK' and on the right cheek 'ME' . When I take him swimming or to the health club, I always make him change in front of twenty or so guys. We all get a real laugh out of the pig. I also make him go from guy to guy in the health club locker room begging them to let him suck on their sweaty jockstraps. The manager of the health club is a pal of mine, so we don't get in trouble. At first some of the guys thought it was really sick, but now most of them are really into it. The guys in the steam room will have Pig lick the sweat from their bodies, especially from their ball bags and assholes.There is only one rule in Pigs life, he does whatever I tell him to do, instantly and without objection. He has to trust that I know what is best for him. Like when I told him he had to learn how to be comfortably fist fucked. At first he balked because he is built so small and my hands are quite large, but shit, now he can take the arms of.
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